


The last scavenger

by Scoby



Series: Reylo therapy [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adoption, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Fluff, Fertility Issues, Fluff and Angst, Menstruation, Miscarriage, Other foot of Rey's AT-AT, Parents Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Pregnant Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scoby/pseuds/Scoby
Summary: Ben and Rey starting a family - a scenario where it is not easy.-----They burn the sheet and mattress where their son has been soaked into. Watching the small pile of ash is almost a relief, something that makes the tears pause.“I want to bury him…”She looks at the ash and takes a breath, looking for guidance.“…in the sand…”Another pause when she tunes into the Force to uncover more details.“…on Jakku.”
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Reylo therapy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791079
Comments: 17
Kudos: 79
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for a miscarriage depiction!

Rey parks her speeder next to the Falcon and unloads a bag full of new spare parts under the ship. She grabs another bag full of groceries from the speeder and heads inside. After passing the bag to Ben with a brief kiss, she closes herself into the ‘fresher.

When she drops her pants, she is greeted by a familiar stain of brown-tinted blood. As soon as she is out of the ’fresher, she grabs her lightsaber, storms outdoors and attacks a cliff right outside of the house. Her monthly ritual has already carved a deep hollow under the cliff.

When she has had time for dozens of blows and several roaring screams, Ben knows that he can go to catch her. She extinguishes the lightsaber when he approaches, and when he folds his arms around her, she relaxes into the embrace, holding her own arms snuggled between their chests. Then her tears come out, as sure as every month.

“I think it will never happen. My body is useless useless useless useless…”

“No, Rey, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then why am I still not pregnant? We have no problem lifting rocks without touching. Why can’t we do this that all the other people seem to do just by looking into each other’s eyes?”

Ben does not have anything to say to that, apart from letting her wet his sweater with her tears, while he sheds a few of his own. It is as deep a mystery for both of them. Sometimes Ben comes here to the same cliff to smash the hollow deeper, but not on days like this when Rey needs him most.

He is starting to lose hope and believe that they may not be meant to have a family. Maybe the Skywalker blood is not needed anymore after they brought balance to the Force. But he does not have the heart to say that aloud to Rey.

They have both immersed themselves into research. First they browsed through the few books of sacred Jedi texts that they still have, but those were not very concrete, as Jedi used to be supposed to not have families at all. One of the books refers vaguely to a meditation that Jedi can do to help others create new life. But no matter how many times they repeated it, they did not notice any effect on themselves. Just their neighbours on both sides got pregnant, which made Rey feel even worse.

After gathering a lot of courage and swallowing a lot of pride, they have asked help from Leia’s Force ghost, rationalising that it would be useless to be embarrassed as she is not even in a body anymore. Leia was as understanding and loving as always, but did not have much more to say than ‘let the Force guide you’. She never experienced similar trouble.

And to a certain extent, the Force has been generous with guidance when they have surrendered to it. It has let Rey feel each ovulation as a tiny spark of life force making a flicker in her ovary before leaving it. And the Force has let them know exactly what to do then, how to make it sometimes passionate and wild, sometimes loving and gentle, always relaxing into it without worrying about what may or may not happen after. That has helped to keep those days happy and blissful, even though, like clockwork, Rey feels the same spark of life force bleed out of her a couple of weeks later.

Most recently, they have delved into studying the ancient wisdom from different worlds, browsing through archives of folklore in an attempt to come across with any hints. They have tried several herbs and rituals, without seeing any effect.

That path leads them further, though, to learn about the supposed powers of the Aki-Aki clay necklace that Ben still had in his pocket when Rey brought him back from Exegol. They have been storing it only as a memory, but now Rey finds it, warps it around her hips and wears it under her clothes for two full cycles.

Then, finally, she feels it. They are having breakfast when her spoon stops in mid-air and drops back on her plate, and her hand moves to her lower belly. For a moment, she does not dare to even breath, afraid to disturb anything about the strand of independent life force that she now clearly senses inside her womb, not anymore on the way out but about to stay. She closes her eyes, tuning into everything she can feel about it, and it makes her smile more than she has in a long time.

“Can you feel it, too?” she asks Ben. “It’s him.”

Ben makes his way around the table and behind her back to lay his hand on hers. His mind reaches through it and through the tissues below to sense the first cells that are ready of their son. And as soon as he is aware of it, too, he lifts Rey up from her chair into a hug. Soon, they cannot stop screaming out of joy and drowning each other into kisses.

The following weeks are pure bliss. The joy of feeling more of new life every day is among the best they have experienced. They spend hours making plans and dreams that they finally believe in again.

Then one night, after a discussion when they have almost decided about a name for the baby, Ben wakes up to Rey’s scream. She has sat up and pulled off the blanket to uncover a growing pool of blood that keeps soaking into the sheet and mattress below.

Instinctively, he puts his hand on her lower belly, searching through the Force for where to send a healing current. But he notices quickly that there is nothing he can do. Rey’s own tissues are all healthy, just clenched with grief. And everything that was there ready for the baby has already given up and is making its way out as a stream of chunky blood that seems to have no end.

He encloses both his arms and legs around her and they both cry until the first light of the morning, part of the time quietly, part of it in loud sobs and part in even louder wails of pain.

They burn the sheet and mattress where their son has been soaked into. Watching the small pile of ash is almost a relief, something that makes the tears pause.

“Do you think he became one with the Force?” Rey asks.

“Of course. I don’t think we’ll be able to see him. There was so little of him ready. But he’ll be with us for sure.”

“I want to bury him…”

She looks at the ash and takes a breath, looking for guidance.

“…in the sand…”

Another pause when she tunes into the Force to uncover more details.

“…on Jakku.”

* * *

They land the Falcon right next to the AT-AT wreck and choose a place close to the foot where Rey used to live. The sand swallows the ashes as they say quiet words of farewell. It is like Ben expected. They can feel a soothing and loving presence around them, which is somewhat similar to how they feel the other Skywalkers, just new and unique.

Hearts lightened, they crawl into the AT-AT foot so that Rey can show Ben her old home. He has heard about this before but it has not quite prepared him for the shock of seeing how full of little scratches the wall is. But Rey’s attention is drawn more to the empty ground.

“Where’s my doll? And my helmet?”

Thinking about how many wrecks she scavenged while living here, it should be no wonder that somebody has scavenged her own home while she has been away for several years. Still, part of her was expecting to find everything untouched.

They are about to head back to their ship when Ben glances over the wreck.

“What’s in the other foot?”

Rey remembers that one of the back feet is above the sand, but there used to be nothing there. But when he asks about it, she knows why, because she can also feel that something has changed.

They walk over the sand to the other foot, crawl in and stay on their knees to look around.

Rey’s helmet and doll are there, against the back wall. Next to the doll, there is another smaller one, stitched out of similar materials. Some dishes and tools lay in a messy pile on the side. And across the wall, they can see a couple of rows of tiny vertical scratches.

They do not have time to watch for long before they sense how something is about to hit their heads from the back. Each of them raises a hand to stop the blow. A metal staff is stuck in the air within inches from the backs of their heads. Once they turn, they see a little girl wielding it, eyes filled with rage and fear.

“We are not stealing anything”, Rey tries, showing her empty hands. “Actually, we could give you something.”

She looks at Ben who finds from his pockets a few protein cubes that they have been carrying as a travel snack. He hands them to the girl, and she devours them at a speed that shows that she may not have had anything in a few days.

“Who are you?” he asks after she has finished.

“I'm Ezrie.” Her expression is still reserved but no longer terrified.

She seems barely five years old. Her clothing looks like a continuation of the dolls, a square-shaped dress sparsely stitched out of rags. Blond hair hangs braided against her back, its colour in a strange mismatch with the tanned skin.

“Ezrie, what are you waiting for?” Rey asks, looking again at the wall and guessing the answer.

“My parents.”

“And where are they?”

Ezrie just looks down. Her chin starts to quiver and a few tears drop down her cheeks, though looks like she is making an effort to hold them back.

Rey and Ben look at each other and silently agree.

“Ezrie, would you like to… come with us?” Ben asks.

Ezrie looks up. Her expression has a hint of hopeful excitement but remains clearly puzzled.

They open their hearts to the Force, showing her exactly how good they intend to be for her, and how they are going to drown her in love that washes away all this loneliness and abandonment. If she is sensitive at all, she will feel it clearly. Even if she is not, she will feel the nudge of caring that has already conquered their hearts.

For the first time, Ezrie smiles and gives them an eager nod. She hugs her dolls between her chest and Ben’s, as he carries her to the Falcon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being abandoned once, it is not simple to trust new parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time ever, Reylo appeared in my dream - and they were my parents! I took it as a sign to continue this fic, as there had also been a couple of so beautiful requests <3

Ezrie blinks her eyes open but only sees darkness. Even though the blanket falls off her when she sits up, she does not feel the cold desert night air on her skin. Then she remembers: in this home, the temperature is always just right. She even wears the blanket mainly to enjoy its fluffy weight on her, rather than really needing it to stay warm.

Now she instinctively hugs the blanket to her chest as she scans around her. She can make out shapes of furniture in the dark, looking like miniature star destroyer wrecks. But what draws her attention is all the quiet space between them. There is nobody. She presses her ear to the wall next to the bed but hears nothing through it.

Her body starts to shake in panic as she shuffles the blanket away and hops up on her bare feet. She opens her door and pads a familiar route to the next room where Rey and Ben sleep. Only this time she is sure they are not there anymore. She has sensed that they are gone. Just the final step and then she will open the door to find an empty bed. She is alone again.

Ezrie hesitates, weighing if she even wants to open the door or not. Unsure if she really wants to know. She could as well pretend they are still inside or at least somewhere close, go back to her room and start drawing daily scratches on the wall, waiting for them to come back one day. But she could not get back to sleep without finding out. So her little shaky hand reaches up to the opening mechanism of the door.

This room is dark, too, but she makes out two humps on the bed, just where she has always found them. They have left the blankets looking exactly like they would still sleep there.

Right then, Rey’s head props up from behind one of the blankets.

“What is it, Ezrie?”

Ezrie inhales sharply of surprise, then breathes out with relief.

“Rey? Can I sleep between you?”

They have told her that she can choose herself how she wants to call them. They gave her a couple of options, but so far, she has been sticking to Rey and Ben. Last time when she called somebody with the other names, it ended up with them leaving her. So she does not dare to even consider using them of these people who are like an answer to all her dreams, just in case she would push them away, too.

Rey and Ben pull back their blankets so that she has space to crawl between them. When she has found a cosy position, they enclose her in the fluffiness of the covers and the warmth of their bodies. This is just the right amount of warmth. No burning heat like under Jakku sun, but just the right temperature to bathe in.

“Did you think again that we had left?” Ben asks softly.

They hear the pillow shuffle when Ezrie nods her head. Rey takes her hand firmly in hers.

“We’re not going anywhere. But it’s ok even if you don’t believe it yet. You can come here to sleep as many times as you need to hear it. I’ll never tire of saying that I love you and I’m always here for you.”

Ezrie lets out a content snuffle but does not quite fall asleep yet.

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Can you do that thing again?”

Ben covers almost all of Ezrie’s lower back with his palm. It feels like she had a sun of her own, just the right size to warm her gently and the right weight and softness to calm her down. When Ben feels her breathing steady under his hand, he detaches most of it and only strokes the tips of his fingers up and down her spine. Just a few slow caresses are enough to send her into peaceful sleep.

* * *

After leaving Exegol behind and taking some time to heal and settle down, they have both gone back to what they know best: Rey to scavenging and Ben to flying. There are no large wrecks close to where they live, but right outside of the town, there is an area where people dump their waste, including broken ships and droids. Rey can pick up plenty of valuable parts every day, and she has found a local trader who pays her fairly for them, in credits.

Ben takes up almost every job he is offered, whether it is for transporting goods or people. He mostly sticks to a principle of only accepting legal cargo, though, even though his name could probably earn him well-paying smuggling jobs if he would go after his father’s old clients. And some of his clients do say that he should relax and transport whatever they want because his operations are not legal in any case.

They are right, from a certain point of view. Ben cannot take care of any legal actions like registering his company and paying taxes, as he is still an outlaw. He never tells the reason to his clients, just like he never tells anyone who he used to be. He will probably live like this until the rest of his life, unless the galaxy one day happens to magically forgive Kylo Ren. Personally, though, he is done with crime and finds it important to follow every law he can, even when it happens in secret.

Ever since Ezrie moved in with them, she has insisted to join Rey for work every day. The reason seems to be a combination of not wanting to be alone and genuinely enjoying scavenging with her. And Rey notices she likes it more, too, having Ezrie’s smile and chatter around. And the little body and hands can fit into places that hers can’t anymore.

In her mind, though, Rey has been swearing since the beginning that this has to end soon, as this is no life for a child. Instead, they will have to get Ezrie to school. And maybe, as she is learning to read fluently and write beautifully just like Ben, maybe Rey can practice herself, too. It looks to her like a whole world opens to those who can read and write.

* * *

“He looked up through the volcanic fumes and saw a familiar ship flying across the sky and landing on a nearby pad. Phooooom pheeewwwop.”

Ben holds the book open with one hand as he uses the other one to fly a toy ship from the shelf to the bed, landing on Ezrie’s pillow next to her head.

“He sprinted to the pad and reached there right as she ran out of the ship, straight into his arms.

‘I saw your ship’, he said. ‘What are you doing out here?’

‘I was so worried about you. I heard... terrible things. Please believe me, all I want is your love.’

‘Love won’t save you. Only my new powers can.’

‘At what cost? You’re a good person, don’t do this!’ she begged with all her heart.

‘I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother.’

‘You won’t. Come away with me. Leave everything else behind while we still can.’

She ran her hands softly through his hair. Her eyes were full of sorrow and fear, and it was unbearable to think that it was all because of him. He closed his eyes, let her touch melt his heart and kissed her. Then he let her take his hand and lead him into the ship. They fled to Naboo, where they lived happily ever after, until the end of their days.”

Ben closes the book and floats the ship back to the shelf with sound effects, this time making a few loops in the air on the way, making Ezrie giggle.

“Can you teach me to do that?" she says.

“To read?”

“No, what you did to the ship.”

“Oh… We can try. Close your eyes.”

She eagerly obliges.

“Even though you don’t see the ship, you can still be conscious that it's there on the shelf, right? Now, feel it. Feel everything about it, its shape and texture and the space around it. Then, become aware of the Force between you and the ship. Can you feel it?”

“What?”

“What’s between it all. What binds the universe together. It’s inside your ship and inside you and between you. That’s what you use to move it. But you have to feel it first. Reach out with your feelings. Do you sense it?”

Ezrie tries for a while, then makes an angry grunt and stomps her leg on the mattress. Ben cups her shoulder with his hand and looks into her frustrated eyes.

“You know what, if you can’t do it, it doesn’t matter at all. In fact, most people can’t. Or did you ever see anyone do anything like that on Jakku?”

“Not before I tried to hit you when you were in my home. You stopped me without touching.”

“Yes, but that was Rey and me. You see, that’s rare. Don’t ever think that you have to become just like us. I love you because you're you.”

He emphasizes his point by pointing at her, which leads to his finger approaching her at a menacing pace and tickling under her arm, which makes her squirm with laughter. As Ben transitions to a more soothing stroking on her head, her eyelids begin to drop. When she has found a good position with her eyes closed, he straightens her ruffled blanket and covers her up to her neck.

“Good night, Ezrie”, he whispers and kisses her brow before turning the lights off and leaving the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes Ezrie to school, which she interprets in her own way.

Rey and Ben have been all but spying on the closest school. Every time when passing it, they have cautiously peeked in through the windows and over the fence of the yard, even tuning into the Force to sense the atmosphere inside.

There is not much to be experienced through the Force there, but every time when passing, they hear bright sounds of kids’ laughter and see engaging-looking classes. Eventually, they become convinced that Ezrie would be safe and could enjoy her time there.

* * *

Ezrie has already hopped on the back of Rey’s speeder and is tapping her feet on its shell, eager to get to start another workday with her. But instead of climbing in front of her, Rey leans on the speeder with an excited smile.

“We’ll walk today. We’re not going to the junkyard.”

Ezrie turns puzzled but steps back down on the ground and takes Rey’s outstretched hand. She stays so serious the whole way that Rey wonders if she should tell her where they are going. But she is so certain that Ezrie will enjoy the surprise that she just keeps assuring her that there is nothing to worry about and she will like it. When they arrive at the school, Ezrie’s grip around Rey’s hand tightens.

“It will be fun”, Rey says, takes her inside and finds an office that seems like the right place to start.

“Good morning”, an orange-skinned twi’lek greets them, lifting her gaze from the holopad in front of her and sweeping her left headtail to her back.

“Eh, good morning, I was wondering if my daughter could study here.”

“I’m sorry, Madam, we’re in the middle of the semester now so it’s not really the best time for new kids to start.”

 _Middle of the semester_. They cannot wait for half a semester with Ezrie working like this, growing every day towards being the uneducated slave that Rey used to be herself. She waves a hand across the air and makes a push through the Force.

“You will take her in this school.”

Obediently, the twi’lek lady responds: “We will take her in this school. I just need her name, age and home coordinates.”

“Ezrie Solo, six years, -201.72, -331.84, 014.32, 087.05, 296.60”

“Thank you. And identification, please.”

Rey has to rely on the Force again. “You don’t need to see her identification.”

“I don’t need to see her identification. Thank you, Mrs. Solo, and welcome, Ezrie. The first grade classroom is in this corridor, the third door on the right.”

“Thank you, Madam”, Rey says and helps Ezrie find her class.

By the door, she kneels down to her level and takes an encouraging grip of her shoulders.

“It’s going to be fun and you’ll learn a lot of things. Do you want to go in? I’ll meet you in the yard in the afternoon.”

The way how Rey is addressing her sounds like she is saying goodbye. That makes Ezrie's throat tighten with emerging tears, but she does not want to disappoint her after she has given her so much. If this is the way Rey chooses to leave her, she will suck it up and stay grateful for all the time they had together. So she nods and turns to step inside.

Rey stays for a while listening behind the door as the teacher welcomes Ezrie to her class, ready to give a defending nudge through the Force if she hears or senses anyone threatening her. But all she hears and senses are friendly words and approving atmosphere, so she lets out a breath she was holding and walks out, ready to go home to grab her speeder and leave for another workday at the junkyard.

* * *

Ezrie is surprised when the classes end in the afternoon. She has totally lost the track of time. They played so many new games she instantly loved – some in the class, some she learned from the other kids during the break. And she learned the names of a few letters and, most importantly, to write her own name.

She has never even seen it written before. But today, out of sheer joy, she repeated writing it many times on a piece of paper that she now has folded in her pocket. Her heart makes a leap when imagining showing to Rey and Ben that she can do it now.

But when she gets out to the yard that empties as the other kids leave to their homes, she remembers: she can never show them because she will never see them again. She peeks out of the gate to the direction they came from in the morning, still hand in hand with Rey. Her hand had been so warm and firm, like saying she’d always be with her. Right until the last moments before leaving her here.

She cannot go back to that home now. Her dolls and all her new toys will be forever lost. Maybe they will throw them away. The thought stings her heart.

She has trusted too much again. She has slept already several nights fully in her own bed, without waking up a single time to the possibility of being left alone. And Rey and Ben have always been there with their sleepy smiles in the morning. It was a mistake to overinterpret it. They probably never really cared about her. Ezrie waves her hand, trying to shuffle her thoughts away, and turns to the other direction.

The sunshine and the singing avians seem to cruelly ignore that Ezrie has just lost everything today. Over time, her feet take her through the town to the spaceport. She sits down on a rock to rest her tired legs and gaze in awe at the rising and landing ships that glitter in the sunlight.

It is a beautiful sight that makes her easily dream about other worlds where everything is possible, even for abandoned girls. Here she could live, and when she is old enough, she can fly herself to one of those worlds. She finds a little forested area next to the port with suitable-looking branches lying on the ground and starts building a hut.

* * *

Ben lands the Falcon on a free pad and gets to work helping his client unload the cargo. The boxes are heavy but there are not many of them, so they are done already before the suns have fully set. He gets paid and says a polite litany of thank yous and hopes to be in touch. Then he spares a moment to savour the purple-shaded sunset glow over the horizon – one of the most beautiful things about this planet – before making his way to the speeder parking area.

He is speeding out of the gates towards home when something catches his attention in the nearby forest patch. There is never anyone there, but now he is sure he sees a shape moving between the trees. He shrugs and continues his way.

But he is not even half-way home when an awareness strikes him through the Force: somewhere, Rey is in panic. That collides with an internal urge to go back to the forest. He does not understand how Rey’s distress would relate to a random stranded person loitering around the spaceport.

Ben would want to check on Rey first, but he knows better than to ignore impulses blended with the Force. So he turns around and speeds back to the forest patch next to the spaceport. First, he is amused when seeing a hut coarsely but cutely built of branches and leaves. But when he looks inside, his heart could break in two.

“Ezrie, what are you doing here?” He squats down so that he can fit in under the approximation of a roof.

“R-Rey l-left me.” The tears she has been holding come out as a flood.

“No, she didn’t. I just felt her. She’s looking for you like crazy. Did you think you’d have to move away from home?”

Ezrie nods and Ben spreads his arms.

“Come here.”

She half jumps, half falls into a hug.

“You see, this is where you belong”, Ben says and holds her tighter. “Not alone. Here.”

“Dad, why did you come back for me?”

“What else would I do when you’re the whole galaxy to me? And now I’ll take you home. But can you first just briefly say that again?”

“Why did you come back for me?”

“No, what you said right before that.”

“Dad?”

“Yes.”

For a moment, he just holds her and breaths in the echo of the short word in her voice. Heart swelling with joy, he lifts her up and sets her down on the back of his speeder. On the way, he tunes into Rey, sending her a comforting assurance that he has found their daughter and telling her to meet them at home.

Rey arrives just a little after them and runs straight to hug Ezrie.

“Where have you been? I was so worried when the school was empty. I’m sorry, I should have come earlier. Why didn’t you wait for me?”

 _Doesn’t matter for now_ , Ben tells her through the Force. She accepts it as a sufficient answer and relaxes into the pure relief of having Ezrie back.

“Mom, can I show you what I learned?” her bright voice asks.

Rey can only stare into her eyes, totally oblivious of the question.

“What did you call me?”

Ezrie quickly picks it up from her eyes that she liked it. Her own face lights up and she starts tapping Rey's chest with her little hand to emphasize every word:

“Mom, my sweet, lovely, angel-Mom! Can I show you what I learned at school?”

It works just like she hoped. Ezrie loves making her happy, and this might be the happiest she has made her yet. They both laugh, and through the blissful giggles, Rey manages to say:

“Of course, sweetie, please show me.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many ways to take in happy news.

Ben notices right away that this amount of credit tokens will not fit into his pockets. It would be so much easier to receive payments on a chip, but anything but cash is out of his reach as long as he does not officially exist, probably the rest of his life.

Possibly it is embarrassing that he has built lightsabers, manipulated the flight of blaster bolts, probed others’ minds and ruled the galaxy, but never owned a credit chip. As a child, it was always his parents who handled money. When studying to be a Jedi, he did not need any as his whole life happened at the temple, where food just appeared on the table. And in the First Order, he had a whole team of subordinates to handle his finances.

He finds a bag in the Falcon’s closet and stuffs the payment there. It has been a long while since he delivered this valuable cargo. This could afford him to stay at home for some extra days, or even better, take Rey and Ezrie to an amusement park.

“Thank you, Sir”, he says with a courteous nod.

“My pleasure.” The Zeltron pats Ben’s back firmly so that all his jewellery makes a faint jingling sound. “I can’t tell you how worried I was for the ur-diamonds. Really, I don’t know how to thank you enough. A Drink?”

He lifts another hand from under his yellow velvet cloak and gestures with one of his three fingers towards the row of bars on the edge of Kergans’s main spaceport. His skin tone is soft aniline red now. When Ben first met him, it was bright scarlet with anxiety.

“Why not”, he answers, mostly because he can hear his father’s voice in his head saying: _Kid, if you ever land a client who is this rich, you have as many kriffing drinks with him as he wants_.

Ben is halfway through his drink and almost admitting to himself that he is having fun. The Zeltron’s stories are melodramatic and his skin tone keeps changing in sync with them. Ben reaches for his glass once more as he is chuckling at a colourful recount about how he bought his family a droid specialised on cutting cakes in a tangential pattern so that the one whose birthday it is can always get the middle part.

But his glass stops in mid-air and his eyes lose focus, as he can feel it again. It is fainter this time, since the distance is a lot bigger, but it is unmistakable: on the other side of the sector, Rey is pregnant.

“Excuse me, Sir…” he mumbles as he puts the half-finished glass back down and stands up.

He barely notices how the skin tone of his client flushes towards a tint of orange out of confusion. He does not care to stay for one minute longer for an explanation.

No matter how much he hurries, Rey is already in bed when he reaches home. He quietly passes by Ezrie’s room to give her a quick kiss, which makes her ever so slightly sniffle in her sleep without waking up.

When he crawls under the blanket next to Rey, he notices that she is still awake, eyes wide open in the dark. He gathers her in his arms and starts pouring his joy in into a multitude of kisses. But he stops when she continues staring into the darkness without a reaction.

“Is something wrong?” His hand hastily moves to her lower belly, searching for better access through the Force. But through her tissues, he only feels pure life force in the form of the first cells of a little boy, just like last time.

“What if it happens again?” Rey squeezes the back of his hand, voice shaking.

He uses his other hand to calmly stroke her arm.

“Yeah, but what if it doesn’t?”

Her eyes light up tentatively. As she considers the possibility more closely, her mouth spreads into a wide smile. Ben tries out more kisses and this time she responds wholeheartedly, squeezing him closer with the power of pure joy.

Still, nightmares keep waking Rey up. Every time, she throws back the blanket in terror, waiting to see the sheets dripping with blood again. But night after night, when she keeps finding their son still inside her and growing, doubt gives way to hope and nightmares to sweeter ones about a happier future.

In a few months, when Rey’s belly is getting too large to ignore, they gather enough confidence to break the news to Ezrie. She listens quietly as they explain that she will have a little brother soon. After absorbing the words, noticing how happy they are when speaking about him, she flashes a wide smile. That makes them look even happier, which is like music to her eyes. She would do anything to see them happy.

But the following night, Ezrie cannot fall asleep. She pretends to, after she and Rey finish struggling their way through reading a bedtime story, each helping the other with difficult words and laughing when encountering ones that are impossible for both. But right after Rey is gone, Ezrie opens her eyes and tosses around in the dark, alone with her thoughts.

Her brother will be her parents’ child for real. They did not use that wording but she understood. And that means that he will look like them, be like them, feel the Force and be perfect in all possible ways, everything Ezrie never can. She is sure about that. And another thing they did not tell her was that, obviously, she will not be needed once they have an actual child of their own.

She is a little curious, though. What does the baby do all day in her Mom’s belly? How does he get food there? And where does he sleep? Does he have his own bed there? And toys? And how small will he be when he comes out? How will it look like when he learns to walk? What will he say first? Maybe she should still stay for a while, just to see that.

But that would make the inevitable even more painful. No, the sooner she leaves the better. She listens intently with her ear pressed against the wall. When it has been completely quiet for a secure amount of time, she dresses up and packs her dolls into a small backpack. Her shoes would be by the front door outside of her room, but she does not dare to go to pick them up. Bare feet will have to do, she decides and sneaks out of her window.

Ezrie remembers the direction of the spaceport and sets out that way. The warmth of the day still lingers on the ground against the skin of her feet. Something about the silence around her lifts up her heart. It is like back on Jakku, when going to explore a new wreck. She is in for an adventure again.

Her heartbeat picks up speed when she sees the lights of the spaceport. It is a lot quieter than she remembers from day-time, but not completely empty. On two of the pads, large freighters are lit and with their boarding ramps open. Two humans are carrying boxes out of one of them, while several droids are taking huge sacks into the other one.

Ezrie sneaks closer, tiptoeing from shadow to shadow. A few of the sacks close to her have tipped on their sides. And one of them seems only a little more than half full. Hidden from the droids’ optical sensors behind the bundle of sacks, she opens the half-filled one, crawls in and stuffs her backpack in after her.

A spicy smell makes her sneeze a few times but she makes herself stop right before her sack is picked up. The jerking movement forces her to hold on to the fabric in order not to fall out of the still open sack. Not daring to let go, she notices the horror of horrors without being able to stop it: she manages to keep herself in but her backpack falls out on the pad. She barely manages to hold back a wail as she is carried into the freighter.

* * *

Rey wakes up after a pleasant dream. No memory is left about what happened, but it has left her in a sweet state of mind. She caresses Ben’s hair that surrounds his sleeping face in an irresistible cloud, careful not to wake him up, until she notices that she has to get up and pee.

With a sigh, she lets go of Ben and strokes shortly her growing belly instead. If the baby is making her do this in the middle of the night already at this size, she can only imagine how it will turn out as he gets bigger. Stretching her limbs, she stands up and makes her way quietly to the ‘fresher.

On her way back, she is about to pass Ezrie’s room when something stops her. She remembers how she left her to sleep and everything seemed fine. But that memory cannot stop the doubt that maybe something is wrong. It is nothing rational, nothing she could grasp through the Force, just an instinct that makes her open the door and peek in.

Ben is woken up by an echo of Rey’s panic inside himself. Within seconds, he is up and by her side in Ezrie’s empty room, where the window is still open. Without speaking, they are quickly dressed up and by the front door. Ben's eyes flick between Rey's belly and the lightsaber hilt on her belt right next to it. But before he can protest against her coming along, she thinks very loudly: _Don't even consider_.

Under Ezrie’s window, they can see the trail where she dropped. But from there onwards, her light bare feet have left no visible trace. There is no hint to be sensed in the Force either.

“She can’t be far”, Rey says.

“Can’t she?”

“As long as she’s in this town, we can just comb through it. She could only get out of our reach…”

“…in the spaceport.”

They jump on a speeder and accelerate to full speed through the quiet town.

“Hello…”

“Hey, Solo! Going somewhere? I thought you planned…”

“I just need to know what departures you’ve authorised tonight.”

“Well, not many. Been a quiet night. Nice that at least you’re here to chat. Is this Mrs. Solo?”

Ben and Rey nod hastily but Rey gets quickly back to the topic.

“Just please let us know what exactly you’ve authorised and where those ships are going.”

“Oh, something urgent, is it? Let me see, there were just a few earlier in the evening and then just after midnight a very nice freighter, type H but exceptionally sleek, beautiful side panel design…”

“Where did it go?”

“Let's see… It was from pad 17, medium value cargo…” The port official browses a datacube until finding the destination of the last authorised departure.

“...to Jakku.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezrie and Rey meet an old acquaintance, whom Ben hates at first sight.

Ben and Rey look at each other and sprint out to the port. Passing pad 17, both stop when they notice that it is not completely empty. Looking closer, they find a familiar backpack with an arm stitched of rags sticking out of it.

That seals the doubt growing in their minds. They take the bag along and run to the Falcon just a few pads away.

* * *

Ezrie startles awake when her sack is handled again. She must have fallen asleep on the way and be at their destination now. All she needs is the right moment to crawl out and escape to start her new life wherever she is.

But the opportunity to escape never comes. As soon as she is put down, her sack is fully opened and she looks at the face she has thought she would never see again.

“It’s you?” Unkar Plutt looks equally surprised but composes himself quickly. “Good you’re back. You owe me a thousand parts. As many as I’ve missed during the time you were away. Better get started at once, right?”

“I… I don’t have a speeder, or shoes, or…”

“Not my problem.”

Unkar starts to already examine the other sacks and leaves Ezrie by herself, wondering what to do. She will need to get something to eat today, and because of her debt, Unkar will probably pay her even less than he used to.

Quickly, before the sun has time to rise to its full height, she decides to walk to the closest wreck. It was fully stripped out of properly valuable parts already before she left, but simple components can always be found and those could get her started.

Ezrie has nothing to cover her face with against the possibly toxic fumes inside the wreck, se she just stretches up the neckline of her shirt over her nose. She has to go slowly and watch her every step to protect her feet. If she hits a foot badly enough to not be able to walk back, she might as well die here.

Her eyes start stinging with something in the air, and possibly with something inside her, too, but there is no time to think about that more closely now. Focused on the task, Ezrie gathers up a dozen parts and stuffs them in the hem of her shirt to walk back.

The sun is higher now, and by the time she reaches Niima outpost and sits down to wash the parts, she can feel sunburn on her nose and cheekbones. Her skin is nowadays used to a lot gentler sunlight than in her past.

She drinks several gulps from the washing barrel before sinking the parts in. The water tastes metallic but it eases her thirst. She keeps getting increasingly hungry, too, and sets out to work with her brush fast, as a promise to her stomach that food is just about to be earned.

* * *

Rey navigates quickly through Niima outpost. Her worst fear is that Ezrie has got back to work here. If that is true, she might be in any wreck on the vast desert. But if they are lucky, she might be at the outpost and they have a chance of finding her.

Both her fear and hope turn out true. They find her among other scavengers, washing parts in a barrel. Rey waves her hand as they approach, and Ezrie quickly meets her eyes but looks immediately down again and makes no sign of letting go of her work. Not even when they reach right beside her.

“Let’s go home, sweetie”, Ben says and strokes Ezrie’s back.

“My home is here”, she responds sternly.

“Is that what you really want?” he asks and she nods, mouth in a tight line, determined hands still brushing.

“Ezrie, you have to look at me and answer: is this how you want to live?” Rey insists, gently but firmly forcing her hands to stop working and nudging her cheek to turn to face her.

Ezrie opens her mouth but cannot get any words out before another voice cuts in:

“Move it! I don’t pay you for loitering around. If you want any of your debt shortened, I suggest you don’t make me wait another minute...”

Unkar stops in astonishment when he notices Rey.

“You’re back, too? You owe me even more. Just a bit fatter nowadays, huh? Maybe don’t fit in all the old places. But I’m sure there're plenty of wrecks where you can still get that ass in…”

His mouth is shut by Ben’s fist. Another blow follows on the side of his head. Before he has time to react, Ben has a hold of his chest from behind. His other hand picks up his lightsaber and lights it up in front of Unkar’s throat. The blue glow heats up the skin of his chin and the crossguard turns towards his shoulder, digging into his flesh.

Unkar’s shriek makes everyone’s blood chill in the whole outpost. But under it, Ben can hear another voice shouting, quieter but impossible to ignore:

“Dad, stop, you’re hurting him!”

Ben realises what he is doing to a defenceless creature who has done… Nothing? At least nothing worse than Ben himself. But still, Unkar Plutt has hurt the people he loves the most. He deserves to…

 _What is it, sweetheart?_ Rey's concerned thought reaches him.

 _I just hate him so unbearably much,_ he thinks back. _I’ll torture and kill him right now. Please don’t let me do it in front of Ezrie._

Rey nods, Unkar’s wail still piercing their ears as Ben makes no sign of freeing his shoulder from the laser. Not seeing any other way out, Rey ignites her own saber and strikes at Ben, forcing him to let go of his prey and defend himself. With calculated blows, Rey fights him to back off to a safe distance from Unkar. Then she locks their blades in an unmoving cross by pushing his with just enough force to prevent him from striking back.

“Things with me, Ezrie and Unkar are over, and he has done nothing to you. Now we forgive him and get out of here.”

“He doesn’t deserve…” Ben hisses through his teeth.

“It’s not about deserving. I know you. This is not who you are anymore. Please come back, sweetheart.”

Ben closes his eyes and lets out a breath he did not know he was holding. They gradually release their push on each other, extinguish their sabers, relax into a smile and exchange a brief kiss.

Unkar has fallen on the ground, holds his shoulder but has momentarily forgotten about the pain and is staring at Rey with his mouth open. When Rey meets his gaze, he quickly looks away and does nothing to stop her and Ben from going back to Ezrie.

“Now let’s go home, shall we?” Rey tries.

“I can’t.” Ezrie keeps avoiding their eyes.

“But why?”

“I don’t want to live with you anymore just to be thrown away again.”

“Why in the stars would we ever throw you away?” Ben asks.

“Why wouldn’t you? You’ll have your own child.”

“Dearest Ezrie, why would that change anything? You’re our child, too,” he tries to explain.

“But not like… like him.” First tears fall down Ezrie’s cheeks.

Rey opens her arms and invites her in a hug. When she does not move, Rey just folds her own arms around her and presses her head against her belly. The independent Force signature inside her lights up a little brighter and purrs in a bubbling vibration.

“Your brother already adores you”, Rey translates.

Ezrie's mouth curves into a tentative smile, which stirs up the contents of Rey’s womb even more. If it was a sound, it would be something like a giggle, like just a hint of Ezrie’s joy so close would tickle the baby. Rey has to laugh herself when it takes over her body. She squats down and takes Ezrie’s hands.

“You can’t play with him much if you’re here, can you?”

Ezrie’s smile widens and she shakes her head.

“And we’d really really miss you. To find out that you had run away was one of the most terrifying things that ever happened to us. Besides, we have others on the Falcon who may have missed you, too.”

“My dolls?”

She looks around, spots the Falcon by the edge of the outpost and starts running. Rey and Ben take a moment for an adoring laughter before following her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now. I might continue a little later if inspired, after I've posted a few other things I'm working on. Wishes are welcome :)

**Author's Note:**

> I have vague ideas for next chapters. Let me know if the comments if you would read more, and I might write them out :)


End file.
